Tuesday, April 8, 2008

oh no you didn't paula.

I'm blind! PAULA!! Your boobs are pushed up & pushed together so much I think your zipper might just bust. Are you alive?! Are you breathing?! I think I caught you struggling at one point. Should've gone one size bigger. Coulda woulda shoulda.

Michael Jons: Sweetheart does Aerosmith's "Dream On" & totally rocked it. I thought it was going to be a nightmare, but he actually did a great job wailing on. And dreaming on. He's sticking with the scarf tied-up-&-tucked-in look & it ain't too shabby. Maybe downright sexy. Did y'all hear him wail like he was Steven Tyler? Wow! Damn you, Randy. Quit dissing it. I thought he sounded amazing & unbelievable. Paula thought so too. Simon thought it was good, although he didn't want him impersonating a rock star. Huh? Isn't that what every single person is doing in this competition? Impersonating someone else? I don't like where this evening is headed, Simon. Watch yourself.
Syesha: Must we go through this every time? Why do contestants feel the need to sing other Idol contestants' songs? She does a Fantasia song & all we're thinking is how Fantasia did it. That's it. Syesha, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here. So far, you've done a couple of Whitney Houston songs (I won't rehash those, for your sake & mine) & now this Fantasia mishap. My patience is wearing thin, I'm almost to the end of my rope, I'm at the end of my wits. This stunt you've just pulled will surely make this week your last. Randy didn't think it was hot, Paula said (while looking totally naked the way the camera was positioned) said it was her "shining moment" & Simon thought she lacked the emotional depth Fantasia had.
Jason Castro: Wowsa. Pass me the bong! Jason does "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" & takes it up a notch. It was really great....ukulele & all. Kudos for playing that instrument. The ukulele runs in the same circle as the accordian (which happens to be my favorite instrument, totally random I know) which can sound really amazing if you just choose the right song in which to play them, but it also has the potential to sound just plain horrid if it's not the right song. And this was the right song, bar none. Yea Jason! Job well done. But I gotta say this: Is anyone else simply not wowed by his vocal skills? I think he's an average singer; he just chooses really good songs sometimes. But is he American Idol material? We shall see.
Clever Kristy: Oh No. From the first moment of the interview when she said she was going to be singing Martina's "Anyway", I was tempted to mute my TV. But alas, I chose not to. Bad choice, Rhondi. Thank goodness for that back-up choir because they saved her in all of her pitchiness. Randy thought it was pitchy, Paula said it was her best, & Simon thought she was very good indeed. He also said she looks like a star. Boosh.
David Cook: David does a song I've never heard of, done by a band called something I can't remember. Did David just return from high school band practice? Because that white jacket belongs to the high school drum line. I'm not crazy about his performance, I think mainly because his voice doesn't really go with the choir. Randy didn't love it, Paula did, & Simon thought it was pompous. NOT. Ha, talk about a throwback to high school.
Carly Smithson: She does "The Show Must Go On" by Queen. I'm not gonna lie here, people. Carly's accent is kinda reminding me of a leprechaun & is grating on my nerves a little bit. Carly's make-up & hair look AM-azing tonight, but I'm not a huge fan of this song or her vocal stylings. I know!! I thought I'd never say such a thing!! Randy thought it was pitchy (Randy is having a bad day today, I think), Paula agreed, & Simon thought she looked good but it was an unusual song choice. He also thought she gave an angry performance. Wow! how comforting & uplifting! Don't worry Carly, go snack on some Lucky Charms.
David Archuletta: He chooses to sing "Angels" & also chooses to accompany himself on the piano. Randy loved it & thought it was crazy hot, Paula thought it was fantastic, & Simon thought it was the best song choice of the night. I didn't like it. Period. End of story. I'm not very nice, am I?
Teacher's Pet: Brooke performs "You've Got a Friend" by Carol King. LOVED IT! You're back in my good graces, Pet! Half of it is because of her beautiful hair tonight, & the other reason is her voice sounds downright spankin'. Like I've said before, her voice always sounds like she's got a cold. Not sure why I love that, but I do. Randy thought it was just OK, Paula thought she was "definitive" (whatever the hay-hay that means) & Simon thought it was a pleasant walk in the park. Hhmmm...
Here's my Bottom Three:

And the one to go will be...Carly. What? Yep, I just said it. Now go do your thing,


Amanda Conley said...

I agree about the bottom three!
And I have to say that Micheal John's ascot reminds me of Freddy from Scooby Doo. Freddy with brown hair.

Michael and Jana said...

I keep finding more reasons I love your taste in just about anything. Yes, the accordian rocks! Why can there not be more that around. I also agree with DA. His half smile creeps me out!

Thanks again for the great recap. We enjoyed it all over again!