Saturday, May 31, 2008

a black thumb, jazz hands, and EVOO

Wow, it's been a while since my last post. I've been up to many things, I guess. Lincoln was supposed to have his first swimming lesson this afternoon. However, his teacher called saying that the pool was closed. A kid pooped in the pool yesterday, forcing them to drain the pool & clean it. Yes, please do. Our homeowner's association fees have to go towards something. Can we not have our kids swimming in poop please? Thank you McKay's Mill.
We tried to explain this to Lincoln. I tried telling him that his swimming lesson was not happening because someone pooped. This got us nowhere. All Lincoln said was, "You like poop in the pool?" So finally, Ben used another tactic. Kevin is our neighbor who is 4 years old. Lincoln LOVES Kevin with all his might. Ben said, "Kevin was the one who pooped in the pool. They sent him to jail. If you poop in the pool, they take you to jail. That's why you haven't seen Kevin in a while. " Kevin's really at the beach on vacation with his family. But Lincoln got this horrified expression on his face & said, "Kevin in jail? Poop in pool? Oh no!" Mission accomplished. Ok, Ok, so we suck at being parents. But we got the job done. As of this moment, Lincoln will never poop in the pool.

On another note, my parents came to visit us this past week & we had a great time. Many of you may not know this, but I have a black thumb. Seriously. No greenness here. You might be saying, "really? not even one measly plant? not one flower?" No folks, everything I put into the ground dies. I choose to believe this is due to my being a bit overzealous to keep them I water them. And keep watering them. And so on and so forth. So they die of over-watering. When my mom & dad arrived, my mom had it all planned out. She knew exactly what flowers we would plant, where they would be, & had explicit directions for me to keep them alive & well. So off to Home Depot we went. We came back with beautiful flowers & I planted them all around our yard. Ben was quite impressed, even though he did think it was pretty much a waste of money because of course, he knows my death history. Here's some photos of the blessed day.

There are flowers on the right side; you just can't see them because of the shadow. Don't doubt it.

Here I am with jazz hands showing off my handiwork:

And here's the mastermind in all her glory. Can you tell we're related?

And here's the tired gardener, pooped from her planting:

Then here are some cute photos of my parents spending time with the boys. Lincoln loved having my dad give him a bath every night & then cuddle with him on the couch. This is them watching TV on the couch before bedtime:

Here's Mimi with sweet Levi. Here's a funny story about the two of them. Levi has had severe cradle cap within the past few weeks. My mom couldn't believe it when she saw him. So to rectify the dry skin, she applied extra virgin olive oil (EVOO, if you will) on his head every evening before his bath. It was hilarious. All we needed was some rosemary focaccia bread & we'd have been set for a killer appetizer. Thankfully, her plan worked & his scalp is no longer peeling. Even when you're a mom yourself, your mom still always has the best plan there is. Moms know best.

Oh, and let's not forget Lincoln's end-of-the-school-year gift to me. It's a begonia flower in a pot he painted. Actually, it's a his fingerprints painted on it, & then another artist prettied it up. But make no means the world to me that it came from him & I'm proud to show it off.

So let's hope that I keep the watering can at bay until the flowers really truly need a good watering. May I keep those flowers alive to prove Ben wrong, dammit.

No pooping in the certainly don't want jail-time,

Thursday, May 22, 2008

a roll-over, a water fight & some cereal

Here are some adorable photos of the boys. I'll start out with Levi's recent rollover. I put him down, walked away for a second, & then the next thing I know, he's completely on his belly. What a champ.

"OK, I'm on my back Mom!"

"Grrr... Al...most...there! (hey, in the meantime, check out my bald spot!)"


Here is Lincoln & Dad having a water fight outside last night in our front yard. Hilarious.

Linc thought this was the funniest thing...getting Momma's feet wet with the hose. I acted like it was hysterical. And it was freezing!

Levi started eating rice cereal a couple days ago. Let me ask anyone this: who likes that wallpaper paste? I mean, I feel like the worst mom ever by giving it to him. And he's no idiot, of course he didn't like it.

"OK this looks promising...I've got a bib on! You're stirring something that looks different...let me taste it...I'm pretty excited!"

"Wait, what's happening?"

"I take it back! I'm not excited, I'm disgusted!"

"What the bloody hell..."

"I'm not sure what just took place Mom, but it better not ever happen again. Ever."

Go get your roll-over on,

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wow...Cookie wins the Cake!

David Cook
I'm so excited! David Cook Wins!! Did anyone else cry when his sweet mom came up on stage & his brother was so super proud? What a fun & unbelievably memorable moment. I feel kinda embarrassed to say that I'm so proud of this guy whom I've never met. But clearly I'm not the only one, because Ryan told us all that nearly 93 million votes took place last night. Holy Moly.
It's an understatement to say that I was completely shocked when David Cook was given the title. I was so certain that Archuletta would take the crown. I think I was intentionally thinking it would be Archuletta so I would not be too disappointed if Cook were to not win. Ben, on the other hand, stood strong & said, "David Cook's gonna win...he has to." I don't think he even wanted to think about little Archie getting it. So when Ryan announced his name, we were both very happy. Ben & I both actually laid on the couch the entire 2 hours & watched all the entertainment. Ben's favorite? Donna Summers! My favorite? Bryan Adams! Crazy, I know. But seriously, can Bryan Adams' voice be any sexier? It sounds like he just smoked a pack of ciggies & then drank a bottle of whiskey. And Donna Summers did sound amazingly good.
Did anyone else think Carrie Underwood looked frighteningly thin? What's going on there, Miss Carrie? Go grab yourself a hamburger. But girl can saaaang. Whew, she hit it out of the park.
I will also say that I would go out tomorrow & buy the record if Michael Jons & Carly Smithson were a duo. They sounded unreal good together when they did "The Letter". I had forgotten how unbelievable they both are...I had also forgotten how weirded out I get when I watch David-I-Strip-in-my-Spare-Time-Hernandez sing. When they all were singing the George Michael song, he just randomly got the "kinky" lyric. Priceless. It's either priceless or disgusting. I'll go with the latter.
Y'all remember Jordin Sparks? She was packed out in a gold dress when she came onstage to sing her new single. And I do mean "packed". Ben said, "Wow, she spent her summer eating Hostess Cupcakes." Not cool, Benny. Not cool. But seriously, if you're big-boned like she is, why would you wear a dress that is cut like that? Choose something that is flattering to your figure, not something that should be on a Size 4 anorexic.
Did anyone catch the old man behind the lead singer of the Jonas Brothers? I don't know if he was part of the band or what, but he was a spitting image of Tom Arnold. Ben literally said, "I didn't know Tom Arnold was in this band!" I nearly fell off the couch. I mean, can we please get some age continuity within the Disney band? A five-year age gap is all we need.
Ben made me laugh again by saying, "What about the TMTH guy? Where is he?" Remember that hoo-ha? He is Too Much To Handle. Y'all remember Danny Noriega, right? How can you not remember him? Straight hair, gay moves, high-pitched voice, totally spunky when he talked to Simon...
OHH! I totally forgot to mention Amanda Overmeyer. I saw not one smile come across her face the entire night. You know she was cursing herself for signing that contract when she auditioned. Skunk hair returns!

Well, David Cook wins American Idol, but let's not forget that we are ALL winners tonight. We all win our lives back from the grip of the FOX network. My time will no longer be sucked from its very being, watching commercial upon commercial for Ford & Coca-Cola products. Let's all take a break more American Idol for this girl. Not until next January, of course. Until then, you can catch me here at this blog posting pictures of my boys & funny anecdotes of the fam.
It's been a fun ride. Come around again next year for us to do it all again...
Congratulations Cookie!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

the davids duke it out

Can David Archuletta please grow some...what are they called?...Oh wait, I remember now. BALLS. Seriously, get a pair David. Oh, his stumbling around for words, his mumbling speech patterns, his near-crying endeavors just made me want to barf all over. I so don't want him to win, but let's be honest with ourselves 'in this moment'...he will. Nevertheless, I will stay strong & courageous for my man Cookie.
BTW, when did it become cool to name the winner after each round? That's the opposite of cool, Simon. You better fix this. I don't know how & I don't know when, but you & your sneaking-out chest hair had better repair the mess you just created.
Cookie does a U2 song to open up the show, & I loved it. Yes there could have been a bigger peak to the song, but all in all, I thought it kicked. Archuletta did something stupid by Elton John. Another one of his repeat ballads.
Then, the ever-embarrassingly-sickening-ridiculous songwriting choices! Can anyone win this round? They're singing songs the public has never heard, not to mention at a time when the public doesn't want to hear a new song. The odds aren't exactly in their favor. I thought Cook did way better than Archuletta, but I think I stand alone on this one. Archuletta did something up my ass about believing in a moment. Argh, Kelly Clarkson did something about a moment & didn't Miss Jordin do a moment song last season too? Give it up people. Write new stuff. Quit recycling.
Ok third round. The Davids do whatever they want. Cook chooses a Collective Soul song which he does amazing with. He starts crying, which makes me so sad because I then start thinking about his brother & the sadness that it is. Randy gives him a two-thumbs up, Paula gives him a standing ovation & says "you're standing in your truth" (really, Paula...really?), & Simon is an ass. He says he chose the utterly wrong song for the night. Cook explains his dissatisfaction & confusion about choosing to do a song he's already done in the competition. I totally agree. Do I want to hear a song he's already done before? A big fat no way. But what does Archuletta decide to do? Why, just that, ladies & gentlemen! He does "Imagine", which I'm sure his stage-dad told him to do from backstage...but wait, didn't his dad get kicked out from being backstage because he was messing with the production & trying to run the show, not to mention call the shots on everything his son did? OK that's the first clue America. This is not American Idol material. Randy obviously is in love with Archuletta tonight which makes little Davie cry & babble like my baby Levi. Paula says he was stunning, & Simon thought he was a knock-out.
Well, Archuletta will take the cake, but my man Cook will sell more records. All in due time...all in due time.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

One Tree Hill Fans, Near and Far....

BREAKING NEWS!!! Set your Tivos, DVRs, VHS recorders (if you're still living in the Dark Ages) for this Monday, May 19 at 8pm CST. The finale of One Tree Hill (CW Network) has its fourth season finale. As you may know, I have watched this show from the very first pilot episode. Yes, it's a show filled with 90210-drama, teen angst, & complete "that would never really happen" plot lines, but nevertheless, I tune in every Monday evening. But this finale will be different, my friends. Our great friend TYLER BURKUM has a song that is going to be featured during the finale! It's called "End of the Road" & it is amazing. I have no idea when the song will be played or during which scene, but I'm so excited to watch & listen for it. For those of you who don't know who Tyler Burkum is, he was in Audio Adrenaline with Ben for several years. He was the guitar player. If you don't know who Audio Adrenaline is, then let me tell you he then went on to play guitar for Mat Kearney. If you don't know who Mat Kearney is, then I can no longer help you. Go crawl back under the rock you've been living under.
If you want to listen to some of Tyler's other songs, then click here.
So don't forget to watch it this Monday! Yea Tyler!

Here's hoping Peyton & Lucas get back together (if you're OTH fans, then you know who I'm talking about),

Friday, May 16, 2008

Granny Goes to Prom

Well, Granny went to the Rocketown Prom tonight. And yes, I'm Granny. Seriously, I felt ancient compared to the kids there. Who knew that bubble satin dresses with obscene bows in the front would make a come-back? Who knew that rags/towels/sashes hanging from a girl's jeans butt pocket is now a cool accessory? And who knew that dirty dancing now not just involves grinding someone else, but it also involves acting like you work at Showgirls down the street on Broadway Ave? I was mortified watching these girls dance. All that was missing was the pole.

So I get all dressed up & drive to Rocketown. I actually found a sitter! Nah, I just left the boys at home to fend for themselves. I mean, come on, Lincoln can run his own bath & read himself to sleep and Levi can make his own bottle & climb into his crib. For cryin' out loud.

Ben didn't really keep up his end of the bargain with dressing up for prom. Remember when I said his idea of dressing up was changing his shoes from Adidas to Vans? Well, his idea tonight was putting a sport coat on over his Black Flag t-shirt & jeans. It was hilarious. I made fun of him all night. Half the people there were dressed to the nines, corsages, tuxes, floor-length dresses and all. The other half couldn't have cared less it was prom, & wore their grubbies. My one requirement of the evening was that we could dance to a slow song, & in between "This is Why I'm Hot" & "Jane Fonda", the DJ, our friend Mark Moseley, played "You're My Inspiration" for us to dance to. Yes, everyone made fun of us & pointed. We can't stay 16 forever. Just sayin.

Here's the girl who danced like she belonged in a porn. As you can see, she chose to dress like she had no idea it was prom night. I tried to get an action shot but hey, this camera can only do so much. This picture looks almost like a normal couple having fun dancing. If you only saw what I did after I put my camera away. Hello sex on the dirty ground. OK not really, but almost.

Here are our friends Mark & Nicole. Nicole looks excited, huh? So excited she had to text someone about it.

Here's Ben holding Richard. Richard just graduated Salutatorian from high school & just received a full scholarship at Vanderbilt.

Here's the cutest cat around. Not quite sure what he was trying to do in this picture. Maybe vogue? Another clue as to how old we are.

Even though the night made me feel very old & out of touch, it also made me feel very thankful for what I had waiting for me at home. I'm happy I'm 30 & I'm happy Ben is 32. I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin than I do now. I'm thankful that we have our 2 babies sleeping snug in their beds. No longer do I have to feel insecure at a high school prom. That job can happily move on to Linc & Levi when their time comes.

Granny's gotta get some shut-eye,

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Oh, snap...buh-bye Sy!

I'm not exactly sure why I'm speaking in weird terminology tonight. I would never say "snap" in everyday language, but tonight it's fitting. Don't know why. Syesha's making her exit tonight, & it's down to the Davids. If you need a recap of tonight's episode, you may want to visit another blog. All I did was watch the final 2 minutes, seriously. The remaining time I was texting my hubs. He was at a high school graduation & was bored, so we talked for over an hour over text. Geez, I'm gonna need a new phone plan with more texting options. Stat. I did manage to look up at the TV screen & see David Sweet Cupcake crying when he saw his fans screaming for him. He was so humble & caring...made me love him even more. I really hope he wins, but I don't think he will. I think Baby Archie will take the top spot, only to sell a dismal 5,000 copies the first week of release.

Syesha didn't seem too disturbed...she probably already has a deal with a major record company already. She's flying high with Jason Castro.

Are y'all pleased with the results? I am. But I'm not pleased with how much Ryan Seacrest has gone tanning in the past 24 hours. I mean, take it down a notch Ry. It's just too much for me to handle. TMTH.

I'm out.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

DC's in the Hiz-ouse!

david cook

That was my Randy impression, if anyone's wondering. We're down to the Final Trio! Cripes! And hey, speaking of Randy, he needs to pull out whatever crawled up his ass tonight. Pronto. Do not pass go, just get rid of it, whatever it is. What's up with Dawg, y'all? I've never seen him so down in the dumpos. He didn't like one song tonight that was performed, much to my surprise. And why does he keep saying, "You could sing the phone book, man..." I could never hear that phrase ever again & be OK for the rest of time. Let's get to it. This is going from memory, so don't expect it to be in order. And also, I'm only going to touch on the songs that I either thought were amazing or just plain deathtraps.

David Archie: The only thing I remember, but wish like hell I could forget, is his rendition of Chris Brown's "With You". To watch Archuletta sing the words, "I need you, Boo, gotta have you, Boo" makes me want to straight up take a Valium & wish I woke up having retrograde amnesia. I mean, seriously, what inhabited his soul to make him want to do that at this stage of the competition? He said, "I just thought I'd give it a shot." Davie, let me tell you this one thing. I'm going to give it a shot that you won't be coming back next week. His dance moves didn't help matters. That definitely fell in the deathtrap category.

Syesha: I did love her Alicia Keys song, however, I thought the only thing missing was her sash that said Miss Florida because that entire song was straight out of a pageant. I thought she looked really beautiful throughout the entire show, though. Ben LOVED her performance of "Fever" & thought it was sexy...not to mention, he also said, "She's got a strategy & she's not afraid to use it." And Ben don't lie.

David Cookie: I thought he did spectacular tonight! That should be in all caps. The only song I wasn't crazy about was the song I thought I would just love, "Dare you to Move". It sounded out of tune & kinda weird. But I did love his version of the Aerosmith song & evidently, so did the audience & especially Paula. She gave him a standing-O & welcomed him into the Final Two. Well done, David!

I'm going to hope beyond all hope that Archuletta will be the one to go this week.

I need you Boo,

Friday, May 9, 2008

happy birthday to me...

Here is my 30th birthday present in all its glory. Probably none of you know this, except for maybe a handful, that I love front doors. When we go to Lowe's, Home Depot, Expo, wherever...I always have to go through the door aisles. I think a front door can make a house. It has the ability to change the entire attitude & character of a home. So when my in-laws so graciously gave me money for my 30th birthday, I knew immediately what I wanted to buy. A new front door. So off to to the lumber company I went. I pored over their 1,000-page book for days. By the time I was done with that thing, I could tell you every stain, transom, sidelight & glass option known to man. Did I want a frosted glass, etched glass, decorative glass, no glass at all? Should we have a sidelight installed? Should we have a transom put in? Do we get wood, fiberglass, vinyl, or steel? The choices were endless. In the end, I decided on a very simple, fiberglass door with 2 slats of glass. Ben stained it for me & it looks beautiful. It's one of the more plain ones, but I didn't want anything too ornate or fancy. I think this fits our house style, & also makes the house look more inviting. The only thing is, now I can't walk around my house naked. Bummer.
Totally kidding.

Come one, come all, to the house with the prettiest front door on the block,

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

catcha later, castro

This picture says it all. Durr. It was certainly not a shock that Jason was sent packing tonight. It was well-deserved. I'm just glad David Cook is still in the game. Whew. I think I heard Ryan say that next week they have to do 3 songs. Whoa. Am I really going to sit there & watch all that? Wasting my time like that? Who are we kidding, of course I will.
I totally got embarrassed watching David Archuletta breathe loudly & stutter through his interview with Ryan. Oh, the immaturity is oozing out of him. My mom said tonight, "He doesn't deserve the Idol spot. He's just too young." Wise words, Mama.

And then there were three,

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Final Four

I had Bunco tonight, so I'm behind on my AI. Has anyone played Bunco? I play with all my neighborhood girlfriends, & man it's fun. Wine & bunco go hand in hand, like peanut butter & chocolate.
OK so we're down to the final four here. Ryan informs us that the competition is closer than it's ever been before. Oh Seacrest, quit your lying. And quit whitening your teeth. Seriously, they could glow in the dark.
Syesha looks so good tonight! And so does David Cookie Cupcake. Davie Archuletta looks scared out of his bloody mind. I will not speak of Jason Castro, simply because we all know he should have been gone weeks ago. And I mean weeks.
The contestants are honoring the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. Of course, Ryan had to give detailed instructions on how the show was going to work for the drunk one behind the judge's panel. Poor Prescription Paula.

David Cook sings "Hungry Like the Wolf" & does just OK. I'm not a huge fan of that song, so that may be why I didn't love it. I kinda wish he had done something unique with the arrangement because he's so good at that. But he stuck with the original arrangement. His vocals were not "mad hot" as Dawg so eloquently put it. It left Paula with a big appetite (gross) & Simon thought it was a copy cat performance.
Syesha tells Ryan that she's so excited about meeting "ALL of her fans!" Then she says she looked at herself in the mirror & talked herself into singing "Proud Mary". Syesha has turned American Idol into a circus with this performance. Too many hip-shakes for me...way too many. I will say this. She is a smart girl. She knows she's the only girl left, & what better way to get votes in? Sex it up! She's not scared to play up her sexiness & sass around stage acting like Tina. I wonder what ole girl Miss Turner would think of that performance. She probably would've asked Ike to hit her again...this time, to knock her out completely so she wouldn't have to listen to that racket.
Jason Castro does "I Shot the Sheriff" by Bob Marley & it sucked. I can't say anything other than that. It completely sucked in every way. Ya know, is the sound weird tonight? It sounds like the band & the vocals just aren't in sync. Maybe that's why nobody sounds exceptional. Dawg hated it, Paula wasn't crazy about it, & Simon thought it was utterly atrocious. The truth hurts, Jason.
Archuletta does it again! He manages to sing an incredibly popular song that's not necessarily a ballad, but makes it sound like one. He does "Stand by Me" & does the exact same tricks he's done since Week 1. The one great thing about his performance are the amazing background vocalists. They sound amazing. Randy thought it was hot, Paula thought he is way beyond his years & that he finally opened his eyes, & Simon thought it was a good choice but there was some struggling. The girls wag their tongues, & he looks like he may need a brown bag to breathe in. Hello panic attack.
David does a The Who song & his voice sounds like butter. Or velvet. Or something smooth, you make the call. I thought he did so great! Dawg thought it was hot, Paula was humbled & wanted more David Cook, & Simon welcomed him back into the cool crowd. Way to bounce back.
Syesha does "A Change is Gonna Come". I'm not a fan of Syesha tonight. Mainly because she's, as my mom would say, a little too big for her britches. She wears a gold dress that pushes her boobies together, so I'm sure she'll get votes off of that alone. The song was good, a lot better than her first trainwreck. I need the number of her orthodontist stat.
Randy thought it fell flat, Paula gave her an undeserving standing ovation that made Syesha cry (what's happening right now? Why are there tears?), & Simon agreed. Which brings about more tears. Drama Queen, anyone?
Jason decides to do something stupid again like sing a Dylan song. Bob Dylan should be off-limits to anything America-Idol related. He's just too good. Wait, did he really just forget the lyrics? Or was that a nod to his smoked out friends back home? That was awful, no way around it. Paula stuttered something, while Simon told him to pack his suitcase. While you're packing, don't forget the hash that's probably hidden all over your hotel room.
Archuletta sings Elvis's "Love Me Tender". He claims he hasn't sung a romantic love song at all in this entire competition. Is he alive? Is he aware of where he is? You sing a romantic love song nearly every week, I'm afraid. He makes it as adult contemporary as he can, & I'm bored. Quite bored actually. Randy thought it was hot, it was one of Paula's faves, & Simon said he crushed the competition tonight. As much as I hate Toddler David, I have to agree. But I also think David Cook did the best. Syesha & Jason were an embarrassment.

Please, God in Heaven, hear my cry. Let Jason Castro go. Seriously.
Talk to y'all tomorrow niggity,

Monday, May 5, 2008

"Will you go to the prom with me?"

Yep, you read that right. I am going to the prom. I came downstairs from putting the boys to bed tonight, & Ben asked me rather tentatively, "Rhondi, will you go to the prom with me?" I was transported back to senior year in an instant. Except this time, I was not sitting outside my house in my best friend's Jeep, immediately wondering what my dress would look like, where we would go to dinner, & how we could get alcohol (OK, so those were my not-so-great years). Instead, I was standing in my kitchen, wondering who I could get as a babysitter & if I could find anything to wear that didn't have spit-up on it. Sexy.
Rocketown is having an annual high school prom next weekend, & Ben thought it would be fun to get dressed up & go. I don't think y'all realize how huge this is. It's a ridiculous understatement to say that Ben hates dressing up for anything. Dressing up for Ben is getting him to wear his Vans rather than his Adidas. For him to wear a simple button-down is an undertaking I do not wish to attempt. I, on the other hand, love to dress up. Anything that allows me to get into a pretty dress & do my hair & make-up is quite a treat. I'm used to slapping my grody hair back into a ponytail & living in jeans & a tank top. So I jumped at the chance & quickly accepted his offer.
I'll be posting pictures of the big night here on this very blog. Don't you worry.

Back to 1996,

Friday, May 2, 2008

3 months old

Levi is now 3 months old. I can hardly believe it. This morning, he started testing out his vocal range to see what it could do. It was hysterical. He was completely entertained by the sound of his own screams. I think I see a tint of redness in his hair, don't you?

Here's the 3 of us:

And here's Linc, showing off his night-nights (there are 3 of them, BTW. Their names are Teddy, Heddy, & Freddy):

On other subjects, What in the name of mighty Hercules is going on with Lost right now? I about died when Jack tried to go through his appendectomy while awake. It made me woozy just thinking about it. And finally, we see Jack & Kate together but man, how messed up is that relationship? Just a little, eh? I love that show. I'm sad this season is its last. I guess I'll have to find another show to suck up my time.

Here's hoping Jack gets sober,