Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Grand Ole Opry

Yay for tonight because I love country music! I'm not a huge fan of Randy Travis, mainly because he sings through his nose all the time. Bleh. But I think he's a sweet guy, nevertheless.

Let's bootscoot:

Michael: Sings Garth's "Ain't Going Down Til the Sun Comes Up", and whew, holy-words-so-many-words. Why would he do that to himself? I don't really think the song showed off his voice very much. I got totally out of breath while I watched him. I don't think I took a breath during the whole song because I was wondering how he was doing it. I didn't like his rendition, but it sounded like the entire audience loved it to pieces.

Kara's wearing a gross dangly necklace tonight. It's fugly. And she's also wearing a dress that closely resembles foil. But surprise! Paula looks great tonight...who woulda thought?!?

Allison: Sings a Patty Loveless song, & she immediately tells us to "come on, y'all!" Didn't you learn anything from last week, Missie? Don't tell me what to do while you sing. Allison looks really cute tonight...I want that leather jacket. She's over-singing this song by a mile.

Kris: Sings "To Make You Feel My Love". Wanna know how many weddings I have played guitar & sang this song in? Lotsa. I luuuuuv this song to bits. Which goes with one of my ultimate fave movies "Hope Floats." His version is way too slow for my liking, & frankly, I'm a little bored. Simon thought it was terrific. I'm not seeing Kris's wife in the audience. Did he lock her up this week & throw away the key?

Lil: Sings "Independence Day". Lil is wearing a kickass dress tonight. I'm totally loving her eighties style with the big ruffle in front. And I hate hot pink, but I'll overlook it tonight. She sounds horrible! Absolutely wretched. Gurrrl, this week did not treat you well. I thought it was so pitchy. Simon calls her "Little", which makes me pee my pants.

Adam: Edward Scissorhands chooses to sing "Ring of Fire" in a middle-eastern style. Adam, when the judges put restraints on you & say it's "COUNTRY" week, please respect that. Don't make us all suffer because you're too much of a whimp to suck it up & just learn to sing country. Poor Randy Travis! I think he was offended that Adam would choose to mess up a Cash song like that. Adam is wearing a silver jacket that looks like it just dropped out of a space ship. June! Johnny! Are you on your bellies in your graves yet?

Scott: Boo. Grody.

Alexis: Sweetie, the pink must go. Quickly. Do not tarry. She sounded so bad that I was actually rooting for Jolene to win this one. And I also think that with that short haircut, she looks kinda like a 40 year-old business woman who tried to dress up fancy. Paula said she doesn't care about pitch problems. Well, then what the hay-hay are we all doing here? Do you know where you are, or are you judging another show that we all know nothing about?

Danny: He totally screws up his rehearsal with Randy Travis, & got me all giggly. Danny's wearing an Eskimo suit tonight! Did he just fly in from northern Alaska? Brrrr....it's cold on that stage. There were parts of the song that were really great; there were other moments that were OTT (over-the-top).

Anoop: I just figured out who Anoop reminds me of. He reminds me of the dude in "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle". I was pleasantly surprised by Anoop's performance tonight. He sounded really good! Simon says he just went from zero to hero. Ha, what a funny guy.

Megan: Apparently, we have just entered Boobie Town. I can totally see through her dress, & I'm not very comfortable with this. but hey-if you got 'em, flaunt 'em. Her make-up looks amazing, her hair is unreal, but I wasn't a big fan of the song itself. I'm gonna blame it on the flu.

My Love: I have the car running, I have a white dress on, & I'm driving to California to swing by & pick you up. We're going to get married.

Maybe Alexis or Scott will be the one(s) to go? We'll find out together tomorrow night.

Ain't goin' down til the sun comes up...

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Jason said...

I think you may be the funniest blogger ever. I'm kinda embarrassed that I am even on here.

Chuck and Kami said...

I couldn't wait to read your AI wrap up this morning!

I love hearing what people who know how to sing think about the show. I'm that girl who has no idea what "pitchy" is! :)

One thing that I do know is that your boy, Matt, rocked it last night.

I was actually disappointed that Anoop did such a fab job. I'm not wanting him to advance that much for some reason. I mean, nice enough guy, but he's already tarnished my opinion with all the, what Simon calls, "hopping around on stage". I love Cowell...

Amanda Conley said...

I really hope Adam is the one to go. I know he probably won't, but I can't stand his punk rocker costume. I love punk - and rock - but I keep expecting Adam to throw out jazz hands every time he sings.
If they ever do a broadway musical about a rock star who sings musicals, he can be the star.

Daeon White said...

I have a confession to make. I keep Camp Cissell pulled up for several hours a day at work, more than one or two days a week, because I love your playlist. You soothe me. Whew. Ok, I just had to get that off my chest.
;) xo dae

Aimee said...

You crack my butt up! I love reading your thoughts. I totally think we should be judging this thing. Hope you are good! It's down to Alexis and Michael. They both need to go. Send them home!

Christina said...

You are goooood girlie! Good call on Alexis and Micheal. Frankly, I was hoping for Michael to kick off. His mouth BUUUGS me when he sings. He looks like a ventriloquist. OPEN YOUR MOUTH dude.

Edward Scissorhands - LOL!!! Right on! He wears more make up than Paula - hate that.