Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Los Angeles, Baby

Good Evening Readers! First things first: for some reason, I cannot seem to find the time to blog about Wednesday's American Idol. I can never get the time slot to sit down, watch it, & then blog about it. Woopsie-Daisies. I'll try harder this week, but am still not making any promises. Don't hate me for the honesty.

Let's get 'er dun. Tee-hee. We're in Los Angeles tonight, so let's see what kind of talent they have. Avril Lavigne is a guest judge tonight, & there are no words to say about her devil-headed hoodie. Oh wait, I have a few words for that. Burn that hoodie after this taping. It's terrible & should never be worn again. By anyone. But other than the hoodie, I tend to really like her songs.

Neil Goldstein: His goal is to touch the soul of others. Don't you dare touch my soul, Neil. He kept on making a weird noise with his mouth after every phrase he said, & he also started profusely sweating. It's terribly excruciating watching this. He threatens the judges by saying, "I'm NOT going anywhere!"

Jim Ranger: This worship pastor seems pretty good. I like his bluesy voice. Avril, this is not "Let me tell you how it is on the road-American-Idol"...this is a gig in which you JUDGE. That's it. Nothing more than judging someone on their ability to sing. Why is she telling him about traveling, having a wife & 3 kids, & the like? Stick with the script, Miss Lavigne. She says no. However, he gets through...yay.

Damien-Martial-Arts-Guy: I really can't even believe I am blogging about this wack-job. He is terrible. He sings a Righteous Brothers song, & it sounds like hell. Righteous hell.

Mary Powers: She sings a Pat Benetar song and she sounds great. I like that her voice sounds like she drinks & smokes a lot...really hoarse & like it's about to go out. She gets through with everyone's YES.

AJ Mendoza: He brags about Adam Lambert giving him a thumbs-up regarding his vocal skills. He thinks he has made it in before he even walks in the door. I'm thinking he's going to kick some serious ass, but I am grossly mistaken. It's horrid, & the noises that escapes his mouth are like guttural, monster noises. Avril gives him an "Absolutely not!" which makes me like her more. He doesn't get through, thank the Lord.

Katy Perry is the guest host for this portion of American Idol. Heart.

Austin Fullmer : He claims that he doesn't think there's anyone who doesn't want to touch him on stage. Well, my hand is raised Austin, & I'm rebuking that claim. No way, no how. He sings a Cheap Trick song & it's like watching an off-off-off-off-Broadway musical. Simon asked if he could just clean water, which I almost peed my pants.

Andrew Garcia: He's a dad & knows he doesn't want his kids to grow up being in a gang. Andrew's dad gets way emotional & starts bawling during the interview. He's very proud of his son, which is touching. He sings a Maroon Five song, & I want to kiss this man. Not for his looks, but for his voice. Unreal. He gets through with everyone's YESes. Woot woot Andrew!!

Tasha Layton: A personal assistant by day (which, BTW, is my worst nightmare of a job), and a minister by night. Whaa? Go figure. I never would have thought that voice would've come out of that person! She's so good y'all. Everybody loves her.

Jason Green: Jason says he's going to get a golden ticket because he believes in magic. Really, Jason.?...Magic? Then why don't you use your magic & tell me if you're a boy or a girl. Because the lines are so muddied from where I'm sitting here on my couch. I'm not quite sure where to begin with this one. He sings "I Touch Myself", surprise surprise. He even gets down on his knees, so help me. Between the hair flipping, pointing to Kara, asking Simon to get on the ground to join him...ANNNND I'm done. Can't go on.

Chris Golightly: I don't really love Chris's voice, but I do love his last name. Golightly!!! Awesome. He's a little too musical theater for my taste, but he can certainly hold a tune. I like him even more when I find out he's been living in more than 25 foster homes. It's sad & causes pain, so I like him even more. Sidenote: what's happening with Katy & Kara? Keep it behind the camera, girls. Let's not be catty.

Tomorrow night is Dallas, y'all! Since I'm from there, don't even be thinking I won't be here to blog about it. I'm a Dallas girl at heart, for those of you who don't know. So I'll be rooting for the girls with big hair, big boobs, big jewelry, & big voices. Holla!

See you tomorrow night. No, really. I promise this time.

post signature