The Top 5 Already?!?

Holy Simon, I can't believe we're down to the Top 5 already! Time flies.
Well, I know where Randy was this weekend. He was trotting through the Michael's craft store, buying string & colored jewels to make a friendship necklace. And not just a necklace, no!, he doesn't stop there. He even has a bracelet to match. Crafty.
Paula's wearing a crazy riff-raff tonight.

Seriously. Did the Adam Lambert of old go bye-bye? Is this where we've landed? Stuck in the decade of the 1970's? I'm all for the retro look, but I'm ready for a change. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I am longing for some black nail polish & some shot-gun hair.

Jamie Foxx makes an appearance this week, which I think is super cool.
Let's get our booties shakin':

Kris: Kris looks like he just came home from a long day crunching numbers at the office. If you're going to wear a suit, then WEAR A SUIT. Make it look sexy & hot; don't make it look like you're a CPA during the month of April (I mean, please button the top button & tighten up your tie). He sings "The Way You Look Tonight", one of my faves. Jamie Foxx has fallen in love with Kris & says, "The audience will be blown away & they won't even know it." What? No comprehende. Kris's voice sounds great tonight. I like hearing him sing this style. Very smooth. Nice job, mister. Awesome last note.

Allison: She sings "Someone to Watch Over Me", & quickly proceeds to kick ass all over the place. Wowsa, she's good! Everyone except Simon really loved it. Paula, WTF. "innocent sensibility that was alluring & very tender..." I'm going to blame comments like that on the straight whiskey that is running through your bloodstream.

My SweetBaby: He sings "My Funny Valentine" & sounds like yummy honey in my tummy. Randy & Kara thought it was off & pitchy, Positive Paula thought it was great, & Simon thought it was brilliant. Yay!

Danny: I may have said this before on this blog, but when I hear Danny's voice, it sounds like a chord to me. It's so good that it sounds like there are several notes within one note. He totally kills it. You guys, I think I've just switched gears. After that performance, I am now on Danny's ship. I jumped off Matt's ship halfway through Danny's song. I'm so sorry Mattie, but 'tis true. This break-up will be devastating (obviously to you & not me), but we can no longer carry on this charade when my heart has now fled to D-Boy.

Adam: He sings "Feeling Good". I thought it was grandiose, just like any other week, but it felt like a Screamathon. He gets people chanting his name at the end of his performance, & people go crazy. All the judges loved it. Is this the right competition for Adam? I think not. He's waaaay too dramatic for this AI crowd.

This week is going to be a hard one. Tragically, I believe that this will be Matt's last week. We shall see tomorrow.
Go "blame it on the alcohol",

One Word Tuesday

Happy Tuesday Everybody! Two people are going home this week b/c my main squeeze got saved last week. Woop.

I'm calling tonight One Word Tuesday b/c I plan to describe each contestant with one word. But before we do the one-word-thing, I have to express a lot of words before we kick it off. Adam Lambert, where are you? Are you anywhere underneath your Elvis impersonation? I didn't love you before the transformation, but I really don't love you now. Be yourself, dooood. Your look is not fittin'. Go back to where you came from.

Lil'...every week you do a 180 from the week prior. Pick a style & run with it. Quit going from Bree VandeCamp to Mary J. Blige.

Let's kick it:

Lil: KillMe.

Kris Allen: I'm-Workin'-Hard-to-Watch-This.

Danny: LoveHimBigTimeTonight.

Allison: LeatherLady, but her performance was slammin'. (I know, that was more than one word)

Adam: Good?? (Paula, 'visceral response'? dear god.)

MySweetBaby: MeLikey.

Anoop: Dudeforgottoshave--didn'tlikehisperformance. (I know, sorry)

If you want to know my opinion, I think that Lil' will be a goner.
Get your disco on,

Happy Easter

Since we were in Australia over Easter weekend, we had the Easter Bunny postpone his arrival until this weekend. Here are some pictures of this morning as the boys looked for their baskets & found their goodies.

Searching for the Easter basket...



Finding his goodies:



Checking out his chocolate bunny & new Lightning McQueen galoshes:



The one & only thing Lincoln wanted from the Bunny...a Transformer.



So excited about it.



Happy boy.



Here's Levi, checking out his easter basket:



Trying to wear his new bath toy duck as a hat:





Already a chocolate mouth at not even 8:00am. He's got such a sweet tooth!



It was a really fantastic Easter. We had perfect family time, even though it was gross & rainy all day long. The boys enjoyed every minute of it, & so did we.

America, you really did need me!

I truly do think America might just have needed me desperately last week when "they" attempted to vote off my SweetBaby Matt on American Idol. I speak of this "they", only because I was continents away in Australia, & I had nothing to do with such blasphemy. I feel for certain if I had been in the States, I would have prevented such madness & utter ignorance. I won't see this happen again, I hope you know. If I do witness it myself, then asses will be blown to bits...everywhere...I ain't frontin'.

Enough about such trivial things! Let's talk about Australia, shall we? The Audio Adrenaline show was really great. It was good to see the gang back together again, even if only for one show. There were a ton of people there in Toowoomba & we had a great time at the sound board, cheering our guys on. This was the first trip that the wives spent some good quality time together. All other vacations were full of promotions, interviews, shows, radio stuff, etc...that we weren't able to spend good time together & just hang & relax. Well, this trip was very different & much better! We spent a solid 10 days with the other band members & their wives...and really got to just have fun, fellowship, laugh our heads off, & just be with each other. I swear, I laughed harder this trip than I had in a really long time. Tyler Burkum makes me pee my pants every single time with his "hoooooooorse-shit!" animated expletive. I mean, really...you wouldn't believe the giggles that came from me. Ali, Andrea, & Aegis are such sweet amazing friends (weird, huh? that their names all begin with 'A')...& we had such a cool time hanging out. So, if you're reading this, any of you darling girls, then please know that I love you & absolutely loved our fellowship...

Here are some photos of our time there. I'll never forget it.






so cute:



the view from our balcony on a somewhat clear sunset:


amazing:



Our hotel had a "pool" of ocean salt water & a waterfall...filled with tropical fish, sand & lounge chairs. So our "beach" was really just hotel luxury. It was awesome! (but don't worry...we did go to the real beach eventually...)


In other news, I took full advantage of the spring weather today & planted myself 36, yes count them, 36 flowers in our front yard. Ben mulched after that, & it looks amazing! Lincoln was quite the helper, with his shovel & hotwheels...following me down the path as I went. What a trooper. I'll post some pics once they grow bigger & their blooms start to impress. Right now, they're just wee ones in the soil.

Talk to you on Tuesday night. Good weekend everybody!
xoxo

Gold Coast, Australia

Sorry for no updates lately. Ben & I are in Australia at the Gold Coast. Audio Adrenaline played a show in Toowoomba on Friday night & now we're at the gold coast having a fun vacay for the next 4 days. Happy Easter! It's Easter Sunday here, but I know that it's still Saturday to you all. We woke up early, went for a walk on the beach, & stopped at a very cool outside sidewalk cafe for some coffee & breakfast. It was very sweet...My one beef with Nashville? Why don't we have cool cafes that spill out onto the sidewalks where you can bring your own bottles of wine & sit there until your heart's content? We should for sure.

AA's show was great & very fun. Ben's hands didn't bleed, & he only has some little blood blisters. Pretty good for not playing in 2 years, huh?

The weather yesterday was cloudy & rainy, but today I took full advantage of the ozone depletion here. Got myself some serious sun. Yay! We're having so much fun & having some great fellowship with the other band members & their wives. It's good times.

I'll update later with pics.
G'Day, mates. xoxo,

Well Maggie, it's been real fun...but not really.

Maggie was the one to go tonight. Good thing too, because she acted like a toddler. When she found out she got into the Bottom Three, she did a crazy "kaww" bird sound which was just not necessary. Then she kept making freakish eye movements to the camera, & honestly, I didn't know if she was serious or just plain nutso. Did anyone see her mess up on her song? She looked back at the band like she had no idea what was happening. Good move, judges. No regret there with that choice.

But onto bigger news, what in the Hootie-and-the-Blowfish was going on with Lady GaGa? I mean, I'm all for the dramatic, the flare, the costumes, the jewelry, & all that fun stuff....but someone tell me what just happened. For real, doe. The first 2 minutes on the piano proved she could sing, but the rest was kinda like a dream. And when I say dream, I mean full-blown nightmare. The weird fiddle playing that didn't fit in the song no matter how drunk you were, the foil costume that wrapped her up like a big bow on a present, the dancers in black suits that were seizing on stage, & let's not forget to mention the black zipper pouch around her eye. Ben quietly said in the middle of this, "I don't think I understand." Me no likey.

I'm happy with the results tonight. Whew, My Baby got through to another week! Looking forward to his next song choice. But if Scott doesn't get booted off next week, I'm gonna open up a huge can of whoopass on y'all. Don't think I won't.
All my smooches,

Down to the Top 9

What in the hellfire is going on with Allison's hair & outfit tonight? Looks like nothin' but crazy.
Tonight is Top 40 Night.

Anoop: Sings an Usher song & totally tries to be Usher in every way. Ew, gross. I hate this performance. He is trying to be super sexy & a good dancer. Neither is working. Failing miserably, actually. He keeps giving the camera a weird scowl/I'm-sexy-look. Sexy you are NOT, Noop. Kara thought he did the song from a dare from some frat guys. Anoop looks shocked! Camera shot to said frat boys in the audience cheering Anoop on.

Megan: I'm choosing to call her Maggie b/c I think it fits her better. Her outfit is spankin' tonight, y'all. That turquoise strapless number is freakin' great. She looks waaaay more at-ease doing this style of song than last week's selection. Let's not be reminded of last week's debacle. One thing though: I think we will be seeing strapless numbers on Maggie all season long. Girlfriend loves her tats, doesn't she? Loves to show 'em off.
Kara keeps slamming her fists down on the table & it's annoying. Paula & Simon have something weird going on tonight. What's going on there between them? Paula thought she should have sat on a stool & ripped the hearts out of everyone. Simon said all the things he liked about her are disappearing. Awwwww....
Yikes, Maggie got ripped to shreds tonight. Poor thing.

Danny: Does "What Hurts the Most' by the Flatts. It sounds like he chose to do the song in too high of a key. But hey, ya know what? He has a voice that I really root for. I want him to hit those high notes, & every time I think "oh man, he's gonna crack"...he doesn't. This wasn't a fabulous performance, however. A few notes sounded kinda off. But I still love his voice. He's got mad skills. WORD.

Allison: Anybody out there watch Ni Hao, Tai Lan? Lincoln watches it every day, & Allison's reminding me of the little animated characters on that show. It's the spiky hair & obnoxious clothes. I mean, really Allison. Get some sense. The real kind & the fashion kind. She sounds OK, not a huge fan of it. None of the judges seemed to like her ensemble. I think Paula got a thesaurus this weekend! "Masterful", "prowess", "intonation", she's using words she's never heard of...

Scott: Must we go through this every week? This is torture. The only redeeming thing about this performance is his haircut. That needed to be done 4 weeks ago. The rat's nest is gone, ladies & gentlemen. But it's still not right. I need my earplugs, stat.

My Baby: I think this is Matt's worst performance I've heard so far in this competition. Someone tell me why he chose this song, puh-leeze. It just doesn't fit his voice. There's no blues in it, no soul in it. He's trying to be a rocker & he came across as trying too hard. None of the judges liked it & thought it was the wrong-o song choice.

Lil': I think I might vomit. Celine!? First things first--Did Lil' just move onto Wisteria Lane? Her hair cut is so conservative & housewife-ish. Please bake me a casserole & bring it to Bunco. Her rubies look good in that blue dress, but she needs some SPANX for her backside. Eek.

Adam: It's the return of The Tongue tonight, sicko. This was my favorite performance of Adam's, bar none. He killed it. Killed it. I'm starting to dig Adam, all except for his monster tongue wagging every which way. Kara says it was like Studio 57. Isn't it Studio 54?

Kris: He plays "Ain't No Sunshine" on piano. I really love how the stage is laid out during his performance. The strings & back-up singers are all around him which is intimately cool. I like it. He does really great. Kara got so excited I thought she was gonna fall off her chair. All the judges loved it. Way to go, Guy-Who-Will-No-Longer-Be-Married-After-This-Idol-Thing.

The person who I think will go is Matt (only because he's been in the bottom 3 lately). But the person who I think SHOULD go is Scott. Seriously, it's time.

Get to voting, all you citizens,

Riff-Raff your way on out, Michael

As you all know, Michael got kicked off last night. Woot woot. I was happy about that decision. But here's the question of the day. How in the sam-hill did my baby get in the bottom 3? Man up, America. I might just have to throw a hissy-fit if this happens again next week. And nobody wants that.

Oh yeah, did anyone notice my new booty-shakin' song upon opening my blog? Black-Eyed Peas' new song. I like it. It gives me something to shake it to in the mornings when I'm getting ready. It makes Ben want to bang his head against the wall. (not my booty shakes, but the song itself...duh)

Until next time, sweeties.

Holy Tu-Tu!

We open up tonight's show with the drunk prancing out onto the stage with a tu-tu on. Ohhh, this is gonna be a good night everybody. She says she wants to "see the contestants challenge their artistic integrity." Deep.

It's the music of Motown tonight & we start off with some Smoky Robinson & Barry Gordy. Did y'all know that Smoky Robinson was on Days of Our Lives last year? Yup, he made a cameo in the soap world. He appeared to Marlena in the log cabin after her amnesia & after she had been brainwashed by the evil doctor. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

My Baby-Sweet-Baby: Mattie sings "Let's Get It On" on the piano. Let's.
I am totally loving Matt's ensemble choice tonight. Nice cardie, excellent tie, cool jeans, & honey voice. I think Ben & I may have to separate.

Kris Allen: Sings "How Sweet It Is", & apparently he blows Smoky away. Whaaa?!? Smoky, quit smokin'. I thought it was alright, not great. Basically pretty average. I honestly think I can walk through downtown Nashville, & find about 10 Kris Allens. Dime-a-dozen. But all 4 judges really liked him. I guess I'm wrong...or maybe I'm right & nobody knows it yet.

Scott: Royal Caribbean Cruise. Finally, someone is starting to tell the truth...thank you Simon. Scott, you have a stinky voice.

During the in-between time, Paula decides to bend down underneath the table to get something from her mini-bar...er, I mean to get some crayons & a coloring book for Simon. This is quickly turning into a sort of weird, slightly uncomfortable variety show. But then it gets even worse when she tells Ryan that she has something else hiding...but it's under her skirt. Holy Mary & Joseph, Paula needs a pink slip.

Megan: What is Megan wearing tonight? Awful. She's got a crazy up-do that looks like it's being drowned in hair spray. But I do like the flower tucked in there. I feel like she's way over-singing this song borderline on screaming at us. Do y'all think so? Eek, I hate this performance. Looks can only take you so far...

Anoop-Dawg: Oh dear, there are so many pitchy things going on. This is torture. Waiting, waiting, slow as molasses, I'd rather watch paint dry...

Michael: He puts way too many riffs in this song. Every single phrase has a trick through it. This makes me pissed. I'm trying to figure out why he's still here. Is it that he's the quintessential picture of the American Dream? The oil-rig token blue-collar worker living out his dream of going to Hollywood & making it all come true? I dunno. Simon couldn't wait for it to end & told Michael he had no chance of winning. OMG, Simon! Shame on you & the things you say. That's why I heart you, though.

Lil': Sings "Heat Wave" & sounds crazy good. Whoa, Lil! She's not scared to look sexy hot tonight. Her dress is so sassy. I had a good time watching her perform because I have faith that she will make all the notes. I don't have that confidence in anyone in this competition except for her. I can sort of relax when I watch her because there's no fear that she'll collapse or crack. But the judges didn't really like it very much. I think she'll get through though.

What-Will-He-Do-Next-Adam: Every time he gets on stage, I get kinda scared. It looks like Adam has dressed up as Elvis tonight, what with that slicked-back hair. I think he does a good job with the song. I was happy to see Adam get a bit more low-key, rather than go crazy like he usually does. Smoky gives him a standing-O. And so does Kara. Simon thought it was the best performance of the night.

Danny: I gotta tell you guys, I'm liking Danny's voice more & more with each week. He does amazing & is really great with the crowd. Of course, I'm totally rooting for Mattie, but Danny's a close second. My favorite part of his performance? When he ran to the back of the stage with his back-up singers & did the dance with them. How cute was that?!? Awesome, Danny.

Allison: She sounds good with this song. And she looks really cute tonight, too. Randy thought it was blazin' hot, Kara thought it was amazing, Paula gives her comments with a colored-on mustache, & Simon thought she was a survivor. OK, I have something to say. It seems like after Adam performed, the judges could not have cared less about the remaining contestants. They're in a fast time crunch, they're acting stupid silly, & their comments are kinda random...just like they're tired of being up there & commenting. It kinda cheapens the whole thing, in a way. That may sound crazy, but hey--sometimes I'm just a crazy gal.

OK I think Michael will be the one to go. Lordy, I hope so.
Smoke on, Smoky..

the older you get, the better you get

I turned 31 yesterday. Thirty One. Thirty Frickin' One. I have been doing a Monday morning step/weights class for the past 5 weeks. Each Monday, I have to stop at some point in the middle of the class because it has been way wicked hard. We're talking, stand on top of the step for 16 counts, while everybody else continues stepping & lifting, because the teacher is kicking my butt all over the YMCA. BTW, my teacher is 50 years old. That was no typo, boss. She's the big 5-0. She turned 50 earlier this month & the class made a big to-do over it. I nearly threw up when I found out...you mean to tell me a 50 year-old woman has been beating me? So yesterday when I woke up, I thought to myself, "I'm 31 years old today. I'll be damned if a 50 year-old aerobics instructor is going to beat me today. I will keep up." I told this to Ben, & he simply said, "You are so funny sometimes." Then he quickly followed that up with, "Baby, you can do it." Awww.

So in I went. I planted my step directly behind Connie's (the teacher) step. That way, I could see her feet making every move & just the thought of the possibility of stopping during her class would embarrass the bejeezus out of me so much because I would have nowhere to look but at her booty, just steppin' away, acting like the work-out wasn't even phasing her. Y'all. I totally made it! Midway through, I was cursing like the devil at the step, the wall, the mirror, the girl next to me, anyone or anything really. But whew, what a great work-out it was. And it made it all the more satisfying because it was my birthday & I did what I claimed I would do. Yay for me, the 31 year-old. I went up to Connie & said, "I finally made it through your class. I turn 31 today & my goal was to get through." She turned to me, let out a huge belly laugh with her head back, & joyfully exclaimed, "The older you get, the better you get!"

Cheers to that,