Thursday, February 7, 2008

not much to say

Levi & I are sitting here together while Lincoln sleeps. We just had great friends come visit us & hold him, which was so welcomed. It was a sweet time of fellowship & baby gazing.
Things have been going really great...I'm just figuring out how to love each boy separately, while also loving them the same. Does that make sense? I'm used to saying to Lincoln, "You're my favorite boy in the world." Now I can't rightfully say that, given that I have another favorite boy in my world. It's amazing how the human heart has the ability to grow, to expand, to abound to a measure I thought impossible. There will always be more room.
Thankfully, Lincoln loves his baby brother & is so sweet to him. This morning as Lincoln was lying in bed with us watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Levi squealed from the bassinet. Lincoln immediately pulled up the sheet & looked at my belly, asking "Where's Webi?" Bless his heart, he still has no idea that the Levi who used to be in Momma's belly is the same Levi in the bassinet next to our bedside. It's cute watching his little mind trying to think through this transition.

I don't really have anything useful or exciting to say today. I'm truly enjoying my days right now, thanking God for every second I get with my sons. I've read so many other womens' blogs who have lost their babies to anything from birth defects to chromosomal abnormalities to unexplained conditions; which is terribly heartwrenching. When I think of these precious girls who have let go of their children forever, it makes me turn away from my ever-present-Type-A mentality of strict scheduling, sleeping routines, feeding routines, and I tend to hold Levi longer, not minding that it's 3:00am & I'm going on only 3 hours of sleep. I tend to read an extra book or two to Lincoln at night, hugging him tighter & sitting there for 5 minutes silent while he decides what to pray to Jesus for that night. These are the moments I need not forget or take for granted.

Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift! II Corinthians 9:15


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2 comments:

Michael and Jana said...

That is a great word. I am so glad to hear that you are enjoying your days. It shows in your words and on your face. You are a great mommy!

Amanda Conley said...

Awww. I'm so glad to hear you are enjoying this precious time! Thanks for telling us about it!